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it's been a few months. and i have yet to change. maybe i got used to it. i just don't know.
i'm really tired. i just don't want to even think about it. i can't even breathe normal anymore. every day, when i'm alone or when i'm with other people. i can't help but have glimpse or random memories of what things was before. i feel like i'm carrying a lot of weight on my shoulders. what's all this weight for? i wish i knew the answer to that. i can't seem to figure out anything. i'm not even happy anymore. maybe this is what i get for being so happy before. i thought it would never go away. i thought my life was perfect. but i guess perfection never remains. everything just fell apart. this summer, i honestly have not done anything i would be proud of. i've done more harm than help. i've been a douche more than a good person. i may have just changed. and i'm not proud of who i'm becoming. i want to save myself, but how am i suppose to come back from what's already gone. or is it gone? i really wish i had an answer for that. i really wish i had an answer for everything that happens. i really wish i can just wish everything to normal. but i know i can't. wishes don't come true. i'm dying inside. i'm slowly melting away. don't help me, because i writing this. i just want to be alone. i'll be gone.. |
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| i want to be the very best
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I want to be important.
Become a reason for someone.
Change the world.
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| Good morning xanga-ers.
Can I get a head count of people that are back?
Are you? Hmm, what about you? And you?
What losers. I am back, obviously.
Funny thing, I looked through my old xanga entries, and oh my, I must say,
CHANGES definitely occured. Good or bad?
Well, for one, I matured a lot. except I don't suppose many would agree.
But by mature, I think the way I speak and think,
it's just not the same as I was back in the days. Haha.
It's weird how things work. I read some old entries and I honestly think to myself,
what was I really thinking about? It's ironic how things changed for me, for better, and worse maybe?
But hey, that's cool and all but you know, yeah that. ;]
Summer time brings new passion.
Let's let the loving begin. =]
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